Looking Back and Looking Forward

So much has been going on in my life since I last wrote and since I've been back home in Florida. It's amazing how day to day we see things as unchanging and as they always are, but when we look back on that period of time, we realize just how much truly has changed in our live that we simply were not aware of as those changes were happening. As my senior year was winding down and I was reflecting on my then upcoming trip to Europe, I remember thinking how I would go enjoy my two months in Europe and then I would come home and have approximately two and a half months to sort out my visa and get ready for my big move. In my mind that was plenty of time to sort out my life.

Well, just kidding, maybe it wasn't.

I'm now down to less than three weeks before I'm back on a plane over to Europe and I'm nervous. Maybe scared is the right word, I'm not entirely sure. What I do know is that on September 12, 2012 I will be boarding a plane with a one-way ticket.

So far I have managed to secure the following things for my upcoming move: my visa and my one-way plane ticket.

That's it.

Can someone please tell me what the heck I was thinking?

In the next 3 weeks I have to somehow manage to pack the majority of my life into two large suitcases, the biggest carry-on bag I can smuggle on board, and the largest purse I can claim is just being used as a handbag. I thought packing for college was hard, this is going to be 50 million times for difficult. What do I bring? I suppose I should start making a list and getting myself together.

I've already been plotting out the clothes I need to bring and if I'll need anything else I don't already have. Others in the same position have been posting on the Facebook groups (yes, we have those) asking what sort of things we should bring from the States that are super expensive, hard to find, or just plain don't exist in Spain. Every time someone asks me what American things I'll be bringing my mind goes blank. Completely blank. I haven't the faintest idea what I might miss from home that Spain won't have. I keep hearing about peanut butter, and while I like the stuff, I'm not going to go crazy without it. On the other hand I hear about over the counter pain meds being hard to get, so that's definitely coming along with me.

Maybe I'm just more concerned with memories of the people and places here at home than the items. I don't know. In my head, I kind of figure that I'll learn to adapt and not miss items so much. Perhaps it's kind of similar to the way I never took an item from home to make me feel at home before. Homesickness is never an emotion I really ever experienced. And it's totally going to happen now that I mentioned it.

Awesome.

Since I've been back life has not been quite as I expected. And I'm kind of okay with it. I've gotten to see my best friends and family which is top of my list of things to accomplish before I take off. Work? Did far less of that than I planned to. Figures. I've also been kind of doing this dating thing... Yeah, I know, I'm moving, but since when does that mean I can't go out on a few dates with someone whose company I enjoy?

And, in my typical fashion, I have had many nights where I stayed up way too late, drank too much wine, and laughed way too loud.

In other words, I've been living my life to its fullest in the limited time I have left here in America.

Just yesterday I received my visa from the Spanish consulate in Miami and it made everything seem that much more real. With a plane ticket and a visa, I feel ready to take on the world and chase my dreams. This is actually happening. I am actually moving to Madrid, Spain.

I am going to live my childhood dream. I am going to live the life I used to only dream of living. I am going to conquer my fears and go into the unknown.

So here's to enjoying the last of my days in the place I have always known, and going off to create a new chapter in my life.

And here's to making and seeing the changes that alter our lives forever.